Brought up by the goings-on of my other blog
A few questions:
In communities in which people prefer to be called to Torah honors as [name] ben/bat [father's name] v'[mother's name], how is the (still prevalent) custom of using only the mother's name in a mi sheberakh l'holim* explained?
In such communities, why are women consistently sought after to light shabbat candles in the synagogue, especially in light of the fact that men and women are equally obligated under orthodox halakhah?
Why, in these communities, is the shekhinah** generally described as a feminine aspect of God, while in all other cases God is described as gender-neutral?
Discuss.
*Traditional prayer for healing, usually associated with Torah reading.
**Literally, the presence of God. In qabbalist philosophy, the shekhinah takes on certain qualities of an independent entity.
In communities in which people prefer to be called to Torah honors as [name] ben/bat [father's name] v'[mother's name], how is the (still prevalent) custom of using only the mother's name in a mi sheberakh l'holim* explained?
In such communities, why are women consistently sought after to light shabbat candles in the synagogue, especially in light of the fact that men and women are equally obligated under orthodox halakhah?
Why, in these communities, is the shekhinah** generally described as a feminine aspect of God, while in all other cases God is described as gender-neutral?
Discuss.
*Traditional prayer for healing, usually associated with Torah reading.
**Literally, the presence of God. In qabbalist philosophy, the shekhinah takes on certain qualities of an independent entity.
posted by Lawrence | 2:41 AM
8 Comments:
I think some of it may be an internal sort of affirmative action. That women were left out for long enough that they should get the stuff to make them equal, and still keep the stuff that is specifically female as female only.
I think more of it is cultural standards, and that those change slower than actual behavior changes, and so when something isn't discussed people will keep operating at the level of cultural habit. Aka, they're not thinking. People emotionally Want to see a woman lighting candles, since traditionally men light only if their mother or wife isn't lighting with them in mind, and that's the image of shabbat candle lighting that people still have in their minds.
I have heard a name given for Mi Sheberakh that had both parents names. Myself, the people who I have had to give as names for such a Mi Sheberakh have been orthodox, and probably wouldn't appreciate being offered with both parent-names, even if I knew them. I think that it's something worth thinking more about, and maybe doing some research into, and presenting it to people who might care.
The Shekhinah is also described as having wings- go figure. Maybe it's kept as female to separate it from the usual angel imagery? I doubt it, but it's an idea....
My general thought on a lot of these "egalitarian" updates is that the reasons for the original processes were not necessarily considered (a point on which I would really love to be educated to the contrary). Based on my learning, one is called to the Torah based on the father's name because that is the confirmation of the person's clan (Kohen, Levi, Yisrael), given that such things are based on the father (heck, if it were based on the mother, I would get to lead Benching pretty darn often). As to the mi sheberakh, my guess is that mercy is considered to be a feminine characteristic, and thus we appeal to the "feminine nature" of God. Alternately, despite physicians being mostly men, the women are considered to be the caretaker, and thus the son of caretaker [plonit] needs some additional assistance from God.
Why do women light the candles? Good question. I have no answer for it, especially considering that I light candles despite my mother intending to light for me herself.
Shkhinah question: Hey, everyone has a feminine side *snicker*
Huzzah!
My impression (including prior to when I gave much thought to egalitarianism issues) was that Misheberachs were through the mother for various specific conceptual reasons that unfortunately are currently failing to come to mind. Somewhere in the vicinity of what The Vortex was hypothesizing, having to do with the spiritual and emotional strengths/merits of women in Jewish tradition.
Conversely, I always thought people were called up to the Torah with their father's name because, for most purposes, that WAS one's name. Did anyone ever shorthand someone by both their parents' names, back when secular last names didn't exist? That gets to be a lot of syllables very quickly. So when you call someone to the Torah by name, you would go by the vernacular. I'm told that at least some Sephardim dispense with names altogether, and call people by number, (to the Torah, not in general!), so the kohein/levi issue can't be the driving force.
So if there are ideological considerations behind the Misheberach name and not behind the aliyah name, then I suppose you could justify a difference, though I really don't see why the policy shouldn't be the same for both. I've also never heard any case AGAINST calling anyone by their full name for either purpose. Why on earth would that be a problem, unless you have a very short-winded gabbai?
For what it's worth, I always include both names for a Misheberach if I know them, mother's name first. And I call my mother by her parents' names, not Sarah v'Avraham. Since when is God more likely to heal in the merit of people who happen to be Jewish?
Also, with reference to the shechinah -- perhaps because the sort of people who are both on the liberal end of Judaism and really majorly into kabbalah/the whole shechinah conception tend to be new-agey. And feminine conceptions of God are always chicer, somehow.
In reference to the issue of mercy being considered a feminine trait in Judaism- this is a fairly popular idea at the moment: but the text doesn't quite support it. I mean, one of the most standardly well-known texts about mercy starts "k'rakheim av al banim"- "As a father has mercy upon children": not a female image at all... And the whole idea that reknem and rakhamim (womb and mercy) have the same root and therefore the same source is well, (perhaps sadly) false- they come from different etymologies tracing back to different languages, I believe. Doesn't mean that people won't keep using it- after all, Judaism has a positive love for folk etymology- heck, it's significantly more related than the things we prove by gematria. But well, there it is.
The thing with "k'rakhem av al banim" is that it is said during the yamim noraim, which is when God is most likely to be fierce in his judgment. So, just as *even* a father (Jewishly, the supposedly harsher parent) has mercy upon his sons, so too should God have mercy upon us, despite the harsh aspect of judgment which is currently prevalent at this time.
In that respect, there is mercy as a basic trait (feminine, shekhina) and mercy in the context of judgment (masculine, because of the judgment).
This issue is a real thorn in my side. I don't think we necessarily have to level gender distinctions in Jewish life, but you can't have it both ways. (It isn't exclusively a Jewish problem, btw. Contemporary secular feminism is way more off-the-wall in that respect, probably because there are so few battles left to fight.)
The explanation I've heard for using the mother's name in mi sheberakh is that it's a standard formula for personal petitions. The formula is derived from a verse with which you are no doubt familiar: "I am your servant, son of your maidservant."
Is that the real reason? I don't know.
Elf: That pasuq actually strikes me as a nice explanation. It has always struck me as a little unusual in its phrasing, and I'm sure someone has derived SOMETHING from it.
I'm a little unclear: Is the thorn in your side the lack of linguistic egalitarianism, or the fact that someone is striving toward it and being inconsistent?
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